My heart just cannot handle this emotional ride of a roller coaster.

When my lecturer mentioned the Europe study trip, and my name is on the list, I was already saying goodbye to the opportunity. With a reluctant heart, of course. I mean, come on now. Who doesn't want to go to Europe, and visit museums and observe masterpieces first hand? A pity, though, because I couldn't afford it, but that was before I learned that I could actually use my PSEA account.

The balance amount is overwhelming and there was that glimmer of hope. So I was happy for a while until the day that my lecturer said to set aside 1.5K because the PSEA cannot forward the desired amount to my account without proof. They want to see the receipt that I actually purchase an airline ticket and all that jazz for this educational trip.

See the problem here? I have the money, but it's held hostage by the PSEA because apparently, I have to use my money in order to use my PSEA money.

So now I really don't know. Someone offered to cover the expenses for me first and then I'll repay at a later time, but I don't know how much later PSEA will be able to reimburse me because that's the only way to go; I'm not about to let my parents fork out the money for me.

To be honest, all this owing-people-money business don't sit well with me. I don't want that.

I guess I'll just have to find out how long the PSEA normally take to process for this kind of transaction. If it takes too long then I can officially say goodbye to Europe…