Music : "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)" - Plain White T's
Feeling: Distracted

Guess what? I feel like withdrawing myself from school. This thought has been in my mind for weeks now and I just don't know whether I want in or out. I can't seem to decide for the sake of my life. It's the fact that I can leave and move on that's making me think this way. Teachers keep saying that it's my choice to come back for the fifth year. I've dealt with that. Teachers are going to come down hard on me. I'm fine with it. Of course, I want to sit for my O's but at most of the other times, I want to just walk out.

I told myself I'm not strong enough to face it. I don't do well under pressure. I might snap. I might just breakdown from anxiety. Then so oftenly, there is another voice backing me up insisting that it's all for my own good. It's just a little pressure. I can handle it. I can actually get through it unscathed if I wanted to, if I willed myself to. I can accept a little brutality and get over it. I can push myself just a little more farther. I can succeed.

But, man, I'm cynical...and fickle.

God damn! This is frustrating.